anilanar:

It literally works in this way. In order to feed the craving monster inside your heart, You feel the urgency to have fun and more and more of it. It may sound grim but believe me considering that -sooner or later- we’re all gonna give up playing this repetitive and cliche game called life, We think we should have fun and get benefit of everything that we’re gifted by God. A guy/girl is the only reason why you go depressive when you think you’re gonna die, I assume. That’s the only reason why I’m living a life instead of devoting it to a third party guy/girl.

After a sort of f***ed up brief, I think I can go on with pros and cons of being an asexual. Why not to make it way simple? Let’s create a list! :)

Pros

Here’s my top 5. I bet there’s more of them for the Asexuals around the world. :)

•  The best thing about being an asexual is being free as a bird. You may leave for a far-off city whenever you want w/o giving a damn about anyone.
• You can create lists, make a schedule for your own sweet self and have a life in your way.
• A huge bed to sleep! It’s the best thing I’ve ever led to. :)
• Having tons of Straight and LGBT friends. Just when you tell people about yourself, They consider you as a saint or a pet and feel close to you just as a friend. No strings attached, literally, lol.

• A unique point of view. Goggles out when you’re an asexual. ;) The facts are all naked now, w.

Cons

There are not so much of it but if you’re blue, life gets harder for an asexual.

• In a depressive day, The cute couples cuddling could make you go question yourself. Other than being a detective of mine, I’d prefer being questioned in Iraq or anywhere coming to sound slightly unbearable.

• I’ll speak to you directly. Asexuality makes you hornier than ever. It’s the second con I’ve ever faced w/.

As you see, An asexual is not a straight nor a homo. He/She just enjoys and celebrates the fact that we’re living a life on a mesmerizing planet like that. Most of us are humanists and yes we like hugging like Teletubbies.

It’s the manual of an asexual written by Me. I’ll explain it in details in the next posts. I’m super excited. :3

Sciatrix, Black Dog Running, and Hidden-Agender are all on the right page in how wrong this is. And I have to join the chorus asking you please not to write any more “manuals” for asexuals. You cannot write a “manual” for an orientation unless it is “ways not to be offensive,” which I have the feeling is not going to figure into your writing at all considering how much generalizing you’re doing here.

You can write a pros/cons list for being ace. You really can. But you have to write it in very personalized terms, because not every ace is going to feel the same way you feel. You cannot generalize.

Generalizing does hurt people. For instance, I don’t ID with any of your pros and cons and it does hurt me that you generalized those to me! It hurts me because someone somewhere would read this, take it to be true for all aces, and I really don’t need stereotypes spread about my friends and I.

(For the rest of this post I’m using the word “asexual” instead of umbrella terms because graces and demis do not seem to figure into the OP’s post.)

1) In assuming that all asexuals can just be “free as a bird” and leave a city at any time, you’re assuming that asexuals have the means to do so (moving to another place is really hard), or would want to, or have literally no personal connections that they’d consider before moving. No job, school, friends, or family that they might consider important? And some people are in physical locations they feel attached to and don’t want to leave.

Oh, and what about the aces who are partnered — romantically or otherwise? You completely erase them in your post.

2) You can still make lists and make your own schedule if you’re not asexual. This makes no sense. I know a ton of sexual people who still make lists and make their own schedule!

Also, again, erasing any asexuals who might have personal connections they have to consider when scheduling. Many many people are going to have to consider friends, family, coworkers, doctors… it’s a very unique situation when you never have to work your schedule around anyone else’s. And again the erasure of partnered asexuals.

3) I am very fond of my huge bed. I sleep diagonally, I flop around all the time, I kick my covers off in the middle of the night and then yank them back on. Hell, half the time my bed serves as my desk! I am currently using it this way! … But I’m one of the people you just erased, again. I cannot wait until I get to wake up next to my girlfriend every day. Generalizations like this hurt me. And some people want to share a bed sometimes with people who aren’t romantic partners, too. Asexual /=/ wanting to sleep alone. Celibate or abstinent does not even equal wanting to sleep alone!

4) They consider you as a saint or a pet and feel close to you just as a friend. No strings attached, literally, lol.

I would find it really fucking disturbing if my friends considered me a saint or a pet.

I consider anyone who elevates asexuals onto a purity pedestal — yes, even other asexuals — to be slut shaming. And I do NOT like that. Consensual sexual activity between adults is fine, I really don’t care. And I am not a saint. I have flaws. And you know what happens to people who are viewed as flawless and then reveal their flaws? People get very angry at them! Imagine all the asexuals you just erased who would engage in sexual activity, or romantic activity, or queerplatonic activity. Or writing porn! I’ve written porn! A lot of people would consider that non-saintly behavior. Again, asexuality does not equal celibacy or abstinence, and even those do not preclude you from having flaws!

Also, I don’t want to be a pet. I loved my pets and considered them family. But I also didn’t consider them human and I didn’t ask their opinions on my life choices or giggle with them about geeky things or respect what they said … because they were pets, they weren’t saying anything! I don’t want people to treat me as the token asexual. I really, really don’t. I don’t want anyone to treat me as an accessory. Being trivialized and thought of as “that asexual person” before “my friend (name)” is really, really not what I want. Please don’t assume this would be a good thing for anyone else. Please don’t encourage anyone who WOULD treat asexuals this way.

5) I can concede that, compared to the majority of the population, asexuals would have a unique point of view on some matters. But there is literally no person alive who does not have a unique point of view on something! Everyone has a unique point of view because everyone is different! And all asexuals have slightly different points of view on all things, because we are people, not a hive mind.

6) I find it extremely offensive and disturbing that you compare “being questioned in Iraq” to, well, anything. I’ve read a fair amount about the torture conducted in Iraq during ‘questioning.’ While you may sometimes feel bad when you see couples, I don’t think these things are comparable.

Also, some asexuals don’t mind seeing couples. Some do. For me, it kind of depends on the situation. In high school it was extremely annoying when they stood in the middle of the stairs and made out. I wanted to use the stairs! I also didn’t like people slamming each other into lockers to make out and, in the process, knocking over my friends. But I also, a lot of the time, feel very warm and fuzzy when I see couples because I’m in a long distance romantic relationship and I’m very excited about the day when I can walk around holding hands with my girlfriend!

7) Being asexual does not have any effect on libido. What? It’s about attraction, not sex drive or sexual arousal. This just makes no sense. Also, there are many asexuals with no sex drives and there are asexuals who are repulsed by sexual arousal.

8) As you see, An asexual is not a straight nor a homo. He/She just enjoys and celebrates the fact that we’re living a life on a mesmerizing planet like that. Most of us are humanists and yes we like hugging like Teletubbies.

There’s a lot of other things to be than straight or gay. There’s pan, omni, poly, bi, gray-asexual, demisexual, and I’m sure other things I don’t know about. Also, way to gender binary everything! I use “she/her’s/her” but I am non-binary. And there are a lot of asexual people who do not use the “he” or “she” sets of pronouns.

I’m also pretty sure that sexual people sometimes think about how cool the planet is and how cool life is. And being asexual doesn’t make you a humanist. Asexuality is an orientation, not a philosophy.

9) I’m sorry if this seems to be going overboard. But your post hit a lot of stereotypes and was incredibly frustrating and erasing and I did not like it popping up on my dash. Please, please, do not continue to write in this vein. When people — especially asexuals — make generalizations about asexuals, it can have real repercussions.

Please stop erasing many, many asexuals, and if you write further posts like this, personalize them. Talk about how your asexuality affects you. I try very hard to do this in my own writing. It’s not easy! But it’s necessary, because we are not all the same, and assumptions that we are hurt.

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